Patient #5: Heather

Heather is a new patient of Dr. Carm and has a rather interesting disorder:

Concocting Violaceous Slytherite Disorder (CVSD) 

This blood disorder affects the body in different ways. Some of the more common signs and symptoms include:

1.   Craftiness: Dr. Carm uses the word craftiness here to mean both cunning and creative. People with CVSD can be both or just one. Those who take on the creative side of craftiness exhibit strange characteristics. For instance, they might find that they can only knit duck socks.

2.   Purple: This symptom is constant throughout all CVSD sufferers. When given a choice between red, purple, and olive, they all like the color purple. Some may be more particular with the shade of purple, but it remains that the color purple is their favorite color out of the list. Doctors have argued that this is because the color purple creates a more stable blood flow to CVSD sufferers. Red increases the blood flow, while olive decreases it. Those with CVSD unconsciously prefer more stability, because of their blood disorder.

3.   Slytherite¹: These people match flawlessly with the traits created by J. K. Rowling’s Slytherin house in Harry Potter. They are cunning, resourceful, and ambitious. Slytherin also corresponds to water, which is also why CVSD sufferers enjoy a nice drink (although this does not have to be water.) It’s amazing that Rowling created Slytherins to be so similar to the CVS disorder!

Other possible symptoms include: being in the sun, reading, listening to British accents, and breathing.

CVSD does not have a cure, and most sufferers prefer not to have one. Interestingly enough, they can function in society without too much difficulty. Unless one really knew the person, most people would never suspect a person to have CVSD. This is believed to be part of the cunningness exhibited by the person. Once the symptoms are pointed out, more people are able to recognize the disorder.

For those looking for treatment, they should seek out their primary care physician. Blood tests will be done to verify the blood disorder and possible treatment plans for the symptoms can be discussed. As of yet, no one with CVSD has sought treatment. Therefire, it is undetermined how well the treatments work.

¹ Slytherite is a word created by J. K. Rowling in her early drafts.

Related Postings:
Patient #1: Kayla 
Patient #2: Sam 
Patient #9: OCBD 
 

Checkups

Post 1: I haven’t been to a doctor in a while can be found here

Checkups

Checkups are important for you and your doctor. During checkups, you take a step towards preventing any diseases or illnesses. You become a master of your own health. If the doctor is like Dr. Carm, then she likes checkups, too. She can get updated information on her patient (and interesting gossip). Doctors care about you—and I’m sure everyone cares about Dr. Carm!

What to expect at you annual exams

Don’t worry you usually don’t have to study, and you don’t usually have to worry about filling in those annoying tiny bubbles on the test sheet. [Dr. Carm hates exams.] Annual exams can include: checking vital signs (blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory system, and temperature), testicular exam, hernia exam, penis exam, prostate exam, breast exam, pelvic exam, CBC (complete blood test), chemistry panel, and urinalysis.

Your age, sex, and medical history determines which exams you need. In addition to the ones mentioned above, you should also be aware:

-If you are 50 years and older (sorry, can’t lie about your age here), you should go for colorectal cancer screenings. A fecal occult blood test (FOBT) should be performed 1 to 2 years for people 50-80 years old. Other testing such as a colonoscopy can be done every 5-10 years depending on health risks. For those who have a family history of colon cancer or other colon-related diseases (such as crohn’s disease), tests are usually done prior to age 50. Catching colon cancer early is essential for successful treatments.

-Annual mammograms should be done for women starting at the age of 40. Dr. Carm knows one place that suggests women start their annual mammogram testing at age 35.

-Cholesterol testing (lipids) should be done every 5 years after the age of 20.

*Blood tests can vary between individuals depending on their medications and health.

What should you do to prepare for your checkup?

Besides making the appointment [doctors usually hate it if you just stop by for a chat and say, “Oh, while I’m here, could I have my checkup?”], you can make a list of items to discuss or questions to ask. You know your body and should be aware of any changes. Well, Dr. Carm hopes you do. We don’t have any aliens inhabiting any bodies out there, do we??? Never mind, I don’t want to know….

What should you list?

Did anyone in your family (blood related) get diagnosed with a disease (for example, your sister is diagnosed with lung cancer or your father is now on cholesterol medication)?

Has something been bothering you? A pain? A cold that keeps coming back? Changes in diet or sleeping patterns?

Have you started taking any medication or supplements recently? (More than likely this should be over the counter medication/supplements. Dr. Carm does not approve illegal drugs. People are usually crazy enough without them.)

If something is bothering you, write down why (why does it bother you?), what (what kind of concern is it? Can you describe it?), when (when did it start? How long does it last?), where (where does it hurt? Do you get the symptoms in certain places?), and how (how have you been dealing with it?).

Last points

Remember you can’t undo a year’s worth of damage in a week! [Yes, those pesky diets to lose weight that didn't work because you didn't actually follow the diet counts.] Doctors (that aren’t even Dr. Carm) are usually smart enough to notice this, although they might not outwardly mention it. So, speak truthfully to your doctor. They can’t help you if you hide information or lie to them.

If you need a follow up appointment, schedule it and keep it. There’s a reason why your doctor needs this information. Let him/her help you!

As always, if you have any questions for Dr. Carm, don’t hesitate to ask. She is the best uncertified doctor out there!



Related Postings:
Preparing for Your Appointment 
I'm Sick (when to go to the doctor's) 
Diagnosed But Not Happy 
Health Insurance 
Pelvic Exam 
Elderly Woman 
Eye Exam