Quick Story: Elderly Woman

A doctor story:

At the beginning of my shift, I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. 

"Big breaths," I instructed.

"Yes, they used to be," remorse the patient.

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Patient #9: Too many patients with this one!

Dr. Carm has noticed a lot of her acquaintances with this disorder. She believes there is an epidemic going around! “What is it?” you asked? Well, it’s….

Obsessive Compulsive Book Disorder (OCBD)

Yes, this is a psychological disorder that affects many people. This disorder basically renders the person as a book-aholic (as it is sometimes known as.)

Symptoms include the following:

Excessive book activities. People with this disorder must read, own, and borrow many books. Reading, smelling, feeling, and for some tasting books are a source of pleasure. Without books, their world falls apart. As the OCBD advances, this disorder takes on other forms of reading such as magazines, newspaper, web articles, pamphlets, ingredient labels, and those annoying pillow tags.

Breathing fire. Okay, I’m joking on this one. OCBD only has the one symptom listed above, but it would be so much fun to breathe fire!

Anyway, OCBD can cause the person to do odd things compared to those who do not have OCBD. They would forgo events to stay at home with a good book. They get giddy when they purchase books at a great discount. They are practically unbearable until the next book in a series comes out. Insomnia can occur because they have to finish the book or chapter. They feel the loss of character sometimes more so than someone they know in real life. Obsessive disorders with the characters or author are very likely to occur. Many OCBD sufferers enter giveaways for free and advanced copies of books, read (yes read!!!) blogs about books and reviews, belong to websites such as Goodreads, own an electronic reader (such as a Kindle or Nook), uses their library card more than their credit cards, and run out of spaces for their books at home. Finally, any misuse of a book might cause the person to suffer physical, emotional, and/or psychological damage, courtesy of the OCBD sufferer that catches him or her.

OCBD has no cure. Doctors tend to treat this order much the same way as they do for other OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) cases. Unfortunately, most sufferers are blissfully happy in their current state that they do not seek medical attention. What is more alarming is the waiting rooms of doctors who treat these patients! They have reading material in the waiting room!!!! This only encourages the disorder.
If you feel that your OCBD is getting out of hand, please contact your primary care physician. Worst case scenario is death.


Related Postings:Patient #1: Kayla
Patient #2: Sam
Patient #3: Lyra
Patient #4: Desiree
Patient #5: Heather
Patient #10:  JFFGD

Quick Facts: Sports-Related Concussions

1.    The definition of concussion is vague and inconsistent among professionals

2.       Accurately speaking, it should be called brain injury—not concussion or head injury

3.       “Mild brain injury” is inaccurate. It’s “subtle brain injury.” Why? Because the effects of the brain injury can be difficult to recognize or observe to those outside the medical profession.

4.       Many injuries are unreported

5.       More medial training is needed. The research included a cited survey of 233 recently graduated chief residents found that approximately 68% reported being less than comfortable managing a concussion sustained by an athlete

6.       Neurocognitive and neuroimaging instrumentation and other evaluation techniques are not sensitive enough to a subtle brain injury.

7.       Athletes need more training in knowing the signs and symptoms of a brain-related injury

8.       Female athletes are more prone to brain injuries than male athletes (this is because they are more likely to seek medical treatment—hence more cases are reported)

9.       An athlete does not have to sustain a blow to the head for a brain injury

10.   It may or may not involve unconsciousness

11.   Prior brain injury has been linked to depression, Parkinson’s, Alzheimer’s, and chronic traumatic encephalophy (CTE) [CTE is a degenerative disease that affects the brain and is believed to be caused by repeated head trauma…resulting in large accumulations of proteins that kill cells in regions responsible for mood, emotions, and executive functioning]

12.   Some children with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder might actually be suffering from a traumatic brain injury

13.   Brain injury mimics many symptoms of drunkenness

14.   Individual treatments should be used for student-athletes with brain injuries

Brady, D., & Brady, F. (2011). Sport-related concussions: Myths and facts. Communique, 39(8), 32-33.

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Can You Read This?

Become Like Dr. Carm: Medical Professions

Here’s a list of the different medical positions out there. Remember this is not a complete list. And to be like Dr. Carm takes lots of practice and education.

Aides and Assistants

·         Home Health and Personal Care Aides:  They help disabled, chronically ill, or cognitively impaired people. Duties usually include things like bathing, dressing, and light housework. You can have less than a high school diploma for this position.

·         Medical Assistants: Administrative and clinical tasks (usually in offices such as physicians, podiatrists, chiropractor, etc.) Duties vary according to their office. You will need at least a high school diploma.

·         Occupational Therapy Assistants and Aides:  They work under the direction of occupational therapists and help patients with injuries, illness, or disabilities with every day activities. Generally, you should have an associate degree (and be licensed).

·         Paralegals and Legal Assistants: They support lawyers by maintaining file, organizing, performing legal research, and drafting documents. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Pharmacy Technicians: Also are known as Pharmacy Assistants. They assist licensed pharmacists in distributing prescriptions. You will need at least a high school diploma.

·         Physical Therapist Assistants and Aides: They work under the direction of physical therapists and help patients recover from injuries, illnesses, and surgeries. You should have at least a high school diploma for this position.

·         Psychiatric Technicians and Aides: They care for patients with mental illnesses and developmental disabilities. You will need at least a high school diploma for this position.

·         Secretaries and Administrative Assistants: They help offices perform clinical and organizational duties (such as filing, scheduling appointments, etc.) You will need at least a high school diploma for this position.

Dental

·         Dental Assistants:  They help in dental offices. Their duties can include things like patient care and record keeping. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Dental Hygienists: They provide preventative dental care. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Dentists:  (includes Orthodontists, Oral and maxillofacial surgeons.) They diagnose and treat dental problems. You will need at least a doctoral degree.

Doctors

·         Chiropractors: This includes acupuncturists. They treat patients with musculoskeletal (bones, muscles, ligaments, and tendons) issues. You will need at least a Doctoral or Professional degree for this position.

·         Optometrists: They exam your eyes for problems and are able to write prescriptions for eye glasses or contact lenses. You will need at least a doctoral degree for this position.

·         Pharmacists: They provide prescription medications and offer advice to people. You will need at least a doctoral degree for this position.

·         Physician and Surgeons:  (includes Naturopathic  Doctors, Anesthesiologist, Gynecologists, Neurologists, Cardiologists, etc.) They diagnose and treat illnesses and injuries. They can also provide prescriptions. You will need at least a doctoral degree for this position.

·         Podiatrists: They help people with foot, ankle, and lower leg problems. You will need a doctoral degree for this position.

Imaging

·         Cardiovascular Technologists and Technicians and Vascular Technologists: They use imaging to help diagnoses heart (cardiac) and blood vessel (peripheral vascular) problems and illnesses in patients. You will need at least an associate’s degree.

·         Diagnostic Medical Sonographers: This includes ultrasounds, sonograms, or echo-cardiograms. They assess and diagnose medical conditions through imaging equipment (that uses sound waves). You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Nuclear Medicine Technologists:  They use radioactive drugs to help create images of the patient’s body for any abnormalities. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Radiologic Technologists: They perform x-rays (diagnostic imaging) on patients. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

Nursing

·         Certified Nursing Assistant: Also known as nurses’ aides, orderlies, and attendants. They provide basic care for patients, usually in hospitals and long-term care facilities. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Licensed Practical and Licensed Vocational Nurses:  Also known as LNs or LVNs. They provide basic nursing care. They tend to work under registered nurses and doctors. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award.

·         Registered Nurse:  Also known as RNs. They provide patient care. They also provide advice and support to the patients and public (i.e., families) about health conditions. They usually work in hospitals, physician offices, home health care services, and nursing care facilities. However, they can also work in correctional facilities, schools, camps, and the military.  You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

Optometry

·         Dispensing Opticians: They fit you for your eyeglasses and contact lenses. You will need at least a high school diploma for this position.

Therapy

·         Massage Therapists: They work with the soft-tissue muscles to relieve pain, aid in relaxation, and help injuries. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Mental Health Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists: They help people with mental and emotional disorders. You will need at least a master’s degree for this position.

·         Recreational Therapists: They help plan and coordinate recreation programs for people with illness or disabilities. These include arts and crafts, drama, music, dance, sports, games, swimming, etc. You will need at least a bachelor’s degree for this position.

·         Respiratory Therapist: They provide care to patients who have trouble breathing.  You will need at least an associate’s degree with this position.

·         Social Workers:  (clinical) They diagnose and treat mental, behavioral, and emotional issues. You will probably need a bachelor’s degree for this position.

Other

·         Dietitians and Nutritionists: They advise people on what to eat to live a healthy lifestyle (or health-related goal.) You will need at least a bachelor’s degree for this position.

·         Emergency Medical Technicians: Also known as EMTs and paramedics. They help sick or injured people in emergency settings. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Health Educators: They teach people about wellness. You need at least a bachelor’s degree for this position

·         Medical and Clinical Laboratory Technologists and Technicians: They are also known as Medical Laboratory Scientists. They collect samples, perform tests, and analyze fluids, tissues, and other substances. You should have at least an associate’s degree.

·         Medical Equipment Repairers:  They install, maintain, and repair medical equipment. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Medical Records and Health Information Technicians: They organize and maintain health data through both paper and electronic systems. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Medical Transcriptionists: They take voice recordings from the health professionals and transcribe them into reports. They use medical terminology and abbreviations. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

·         Psychologists: They study mental processes and behavior of people by observing, interpreting, and recording. You will more than likely need at least a master’s degree for this position.

·         Radiation Therapists:  They treat cancer and other diseases through radiation treatments. You will need at least an associate’s degree for this position.

·         Speech-Language Pathologists: They treat and diagnose communication and swallowing disorders. You will need at least a master’s degree for this position.

·         Surgical Technologists:  Also known as Operating Room Technicians. They help during surgical operations such as in preparation of the rooms and equipment, as well as, helping the doctors and nurses during surgery. You will need at least a post-secondary non-degree award for this position.

YEARS OF SCHOOLING NEEDED

Less than High School Diploma

1.       Home Health and Personal  Care Aides

High School Diploma

1.       Dispensing Opticians

2.       Medical Assistants

3.       Pharmacy Technicians

4.       Physical Therapist Assistants and Aides

5.       Psychiatric Technicians and Aides

6.       Secretaries and Administrative Assistants

Post-secondary Non-Degree Award

1.       Certified Nursing Assistant

2.       Dental Assistants

3.       Emergency Medical Technicians

4.       Licensed Practical and Licensed Vocational Nurses

5.       Massage Therapists

6.       Medical Records and Health Information Technicians

7.       Medical Transcriptionists

8.       Surgical Technologists

Associate’s Degree

1.       Cardiovascular Technologists and Technicians and Vascular Technologists

2.       Dental Hygienists

3.       Diagnostic Medical Sonographers

4.       Medical and Clinical Laboratory Technologists and Technicians

5.       Medical Equipment Repairers

6.       Nuclear Medicine Technologists

7.       Occupational Therapy Assistants and Aides

8.       Paralegals and Legal Assistants

9.       Radiation Therapists

10.   Radiologic Technologists

11.   Registered Nurse

12.   Respiratory Therapist

Bachelor’s Degree

1.       Health Educators

2.       Recreational Therapists

3.       Social Workers

Master’s Degree

1.       Mental Health Counselors and Marriage and Family Therapists

2.       Psychologists

3.       Speech-Language Pathologists

Doctoral Degree

1.       Chiropractors

2.       Dentists

3.       Optometrists

4.       Pharmacists

5.       Physician and Surgeons

6.       Podiatrists

Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics from http://www.bls.gov/

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IQ

Quick Facts: Chromosomes

Chromosomes (the stuff that contains your genes) are distributed as follows:

• Domestic Cat has 38 chromosomes

• Rabbit has 44 chromosomes

• Guppy has 46 chromosomes

• Human has 46 Chromosomes [You didn’t think you shared anything in common with a guppy, did you?]

 

"I am not a guppy...I am not a guppy...."

• Chimpanzee has 48 chromosomes

• Garden Snail has 54 chromosomes

• Silkworm has 56 chromosomes

• Guinea Pig has 64 chromosomes

Statistics are from Wiki :)



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Halloween is Coming!

Calling all Dr. Carm fans!

 

Halloween will soon be upon us, and I know you are all getting ready by eating the good candy before the trick or treaters make it to your house. Dr. Carm wants to do a feature on her blog and Facebook  page for people or their pets that dress up as a doctor or nurse. So dress up and take a picture!

 

 

Picture found at http://3113.com/cute_pet_costumes/cute_pet_costumes.html

 

 

 

Send your picture to Dr. Carm (drcarmelee@gmail.com), and she will post it on her blog and Facebook fanpage.

 

(If you have old pictures from prior years, they will be fine too.)

Patient #8: "The Pirate" [Arrrgh!]

The Pirate (as this person is so known as) has an unusual illness:

Feline Piracy Basket Syndrome (FPBS)

No, this is not where a person steals kitty cats in baskets, although I wouldn’t be surprised if it did happen. FPBS has three distinguishing features that set it apart from other illnesses.

First, the person has an obsessive compulsive disorder with cats. This person may own several pets of the feline persuasion; collect fake cats (i.e., freeze dried cats—like the little coffee crystals *Mama’s Family reference—loved that show*, figurines); hoards pictures of real and painted cats, owns cat-like objects (purses shaped like cats or made of cat fur); wears cat-like items (t-shirts, sunglasses, etc.); and has impulsive tendencies to feed any cat that comes across his/her path.

Second, the person has an obsessive compulsive disorder with winning baskets from Chinese Auctions. To become happy and content with their lives, FPBS sufferers must participate and win some kind of basket on a regular basis. This means they must attend festivals or bingos, usually on a weekly basis. If asked if they have a gambling problem, they should answer: "I don't have a problem gambling." Not only does the person like to put their tickets in to win baskets, he/she enjoys putting down cat names instead of their own names (see above about Cat OCD.) Researchers have indicated that this mistaken in identity might be a slowly developing brain disorder that results with the person finally believing that he/she is a cat. Hopefully, the FPBS sufferer has sought help before it has reached this stage.

Finally, the person has pirate attributes. The person might have a peg leg, an eye patch, full pirate regalia….This actually can be quite entertaining to us doctors. Anyway, FPBS sufferers feel the need to randomly spurt out into Piratese [pirate language]. In accordance with the feline obsession, most FPBS sufferers do not have a parrot to keep them company, but they do enjoy hooks….

FPBS is not a contagious illness, and it is unclear how one acquires it. Speculations have been made that considered hormonal imbalances, radiation, head contusions or brain damage (accidental or self-inflicted), and sports-related injuries.

Medication has been prescribed for some patients with FPBS, although these have resulted in a 78.3% failure rate. (It seems the symptoms are very powerful for the likes of modern medicine.) FPBS is a complex syndrome that requires more moderating in the medical community.

If you believe you have FPBS and want to try this medication, please contact your PCP (primary care physician). They can monitor the prescription and use you as guinea pig.

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Quick Story: Pelvic Exam

A doctor story:

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him. 

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" 

She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.'"

Oscar Mayer can be found here! Gotta love those hot dogs!



The Oscar Mayer Wiener song can found here

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer Weiner
That is what I truly wish to be
cause if i were a oscar mayer weiner
everyone would be in love
oh everyone would be in love
everyone would be in love with me

Related Postings:Baby in a Cab

Elderly Woman

Appendicitis

Two Little Kids

3rd Month Anniversary Game

Mad Libs

Dr. Carm picked three short stories from her postings for the mad libs.

Instructions: Write your word to the blanks on a piece of paper in the order provided. After you have written your answers down, place your words in the corresponding story. It should end up being funny.

Definitions:

Noun: A person, place, or thing

Adjective: Describes a noun

Verb: An action word

Adverb: Describes a verb

Story 1

1. Place ______________

2. Noun ______________

3. Noun ______________

4. Number ____________

Story 2

1. Noun ______________

2. Number ____________

3. Group _____________

Story 3

1. Number ____________

2. Profession __________

3. Number ____________

4. Noun ______________

5. Adjective ___________

Story 1

A man comes into the    1    and yells, "My    2   's going to have her baby in the cab!" I grabbed my    3   , rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady's dress, and began to take off her underwear. Suddenly I noticed that there were    4    cabs - and I was in the wrong one!

Story 2

One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a    1    that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct. Not more than    2    minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the    3    that he had died of a "massive internal fart."

Story 3

During a patient's    1    week follow-up appointment with his    2   , he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications. 

"Which one?" I asked. 

"The patch. The nurse told me to put on a new one every    3    hours and now I'm running out of places to put it!" 

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn't see...Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his    4   ! Now, the instructions include removal of the    5    patch before applying a new one.

For the real stories:
Story 1
Story 2
Story 3

If you enjoyed this, try:
Dr. Carm's 2nd Month Anniversary Word Scramble
Dr. Carm's 1st Month Anniversary Word Search