Jamie Fraser Fan Girl Disorder (JFFGD)
Dr. Carm has noticed a few people with this disorder. First, let Dr. Carm explain that Jamie Fraser is not a real person, but a character in the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon (yes, the one that wrote the Butt Cooties, see here). Anyway, JFFGD has the following symptoms:
First, JFFGD sufferers have a compulsive disorder with the series. You may find them reading and re-reading the series as well as the Lord John Grey series (which also features Jamie Fraser as a character.) This compulsive disorder may render the person incapable of reading other books or stories soon after because they are stuck on Jamie Fraser. In addition, the sufferers might also spend large quantities of time online discussing and viewing anything that might seem remotely related to Jamie Fraser. This includes blogs, forums, Youtube videos, personal discussions, and fanart.
Second, JFFGD sufferers might randomly break out in a Scottish accent. For those that are Scottish, it might be hard to tell. Anyway, they could speak or write using the accent—which is verra interesting, ye ken? They might also revert to 18th century idioms and phrases, which is the time period of the books. Therefore, dinna fash yerself if they call ye Himself or Herself.
Third, JFFGD sufferers might resort into trying to go through the standing stones (which is how the 20th century heroine goes back in time.) Do not be alarmed if you pass by a circle of standing stones to find people wearing 18th century garb wondering around. These are more than likely JFFGD sufferers and should only be approached with caution.
Finally, if you are a tall redheaded man, please do not approach or be seen by JFFGD sufferers. They might attack you. Well, technically they might try to kidnap you and ask you questions pertaining to Jamie Fraser. Their delusions might also cause them to see the characters of the book in regular people. These character-look-alikes also need to be careful. For instance, a woman with lots of dark curly hair, amber eyes, and speaks with a British accent might find herself in trouble with the JFFGD sufferers, because they might mistaken her for Jamie Fraser's wife. Remember these patients should be approached with extreme caution.
Finally, if you are a tall redheaded man, please do not approach or be seen by JFFGD sufferers. They might attack you. Well, technically they might try to kidnap you and ask you questions pertaining to Jamie Fraser. Their delusions might also cause them to see the characters of the book in regular people. These character-look-alikes also need to be careful. For instance, a woman with lots of dark curly hair, amber eyes, and speaks with a British accent might find herself in trouble with the JFFGD sufferers, because they might mistaken her for Jamie Fraser's wife. Remember these patients should be approached with extreme caution.
JFFGD is not the only fan girl disorder out there. There are many in fact—each one with its own symptoms and intensity. What should be done?
Well, unless you are a trained doctor, you would want to appease them and keep your distance. Although JFFGD does not cause violent behavior, they can be provoked into protecting the “Jamie Fraser” of their mind.
To be cured of the JFFGD, total removal of anything related to Jamie Fraser should be done. This is a tremendous task which more than likely will cause the JFFGD sufferer to act out violently. Care should be taken and this should only be attempted by a trained professional. Note: Elephant tranquilizers might be needed.
If you believe you have JFFGD, please consult with your primary care physician.
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