Fun Diagnosis - Patient # 3 Lyra

Lyra came to Dr. Carm for help not too long ago....

After a few appointments and tests, it has been concluded that she has Folivora Ananas Comosus Disease (FACD).

Folivora Ananas Comosus Disease (FACD)

FACD has six symptoms and can be diagnosed through observations or blood tests. FACD symptoms include:

1.       Divert sleeping patterns. FACD sufferers find that they lack energy and must sleep longer than most of their human counterparts. It was first determined that FACD sufferers are somnolent and should sleep 15 to 18 hours each day. However, Dr. Neil Rattenborg discovered that only 10 hours a day is sufficient for FACD sufferers to function. This does not mean that they do not like to sleep 15-18 hours. Unfortunately, real life calls them back to the world of wakefulness.

2.       Because their sleep patterns are different than the average human, FACD sufferers exhibit slow movements and poor muscle control. This causes them to move like a Muppet.

In order to gain control of their movements and wakeful state, FACD sufferers try to engage in physical activities such as aerobics. This can cause the person to become even more tired, even though they are pleasantly pleased with their performance.

3.       People who have FACD might find themselves in need of constant hydration. This symptom is partly unexplained by the medical world. Interestingly enough, some doctors have concluded that this helps keep them in a semi-wakeful state. By hydrating often, they must relieve themselves several times throughout the day. This allows them to remain conscious [at least in theory].

4.       Another symptom is obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). For Lyra, one obsessive behavior is nail polish. She has a high need to collect and paint.  She will forgo long-term benefits for the immediate relief of nail polishing pleasure. This disorder is considered at least moderate to severe among FACD sufferers.

5.       FACD sufferers have unusual eating habits. Although they prefer vegetables to meat, they conflict their healthy habits with an abundance of bake goods. They tend to make the bake goods themselves (share a portion of the desserts with others to avoid any guilty emotions) and then consume the rest hidden away in their habitat.

6.       Finally, because they have unusual eating habits, FACD sufferers have been known to self-poison. For instance, Lyra will continue to eat fresh pineapples despite the slight allergic reaction to the bromelain.

FACD is a heredity disorder that can skip every few generations randomly. It is possible that parents and their children have the condition, but it is not necessary.
A permanent cure is not yet available [testing is still being done on humans], but there are ways to help relieve the symptoms of FACD.

Sleep is one way to make people with FACD happy. A note should be obtained from their physician so that they can nap at work. Because sleep is important to those with FACD, the occupation should also allow other coworkers nap time as well. This provides a nice quiet environment to sleep.

For those that suffer from extreme Muppet-like movements, a straightjacket or other restrictive sleeves should be used. This prevents an indirect harm to themselves or others.

Finally, support groups and interventions should be used to prevent self-poisoning. In extreme conditions, commitment in a psych ward might necessary.

*The Muppets were created by Jim Henson and is legally contracted with the Walt Disney Company.

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