Dr. Carm's Medical Page: 2012

Showing posts with label 2012. Show all posts

Dec 24, 2012

2012 Most Used Browser for Reading Dr. Carm

The top five browsers used to view and read Dr. Carm's blog are:

1. Internet Explorer

2. Firefox

3. Chrome

4. Opera

5. Safari

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Dec 22, 2012

Buttons of 2012

Remember the buttons? Dr. Carm created fun buttons that can be used on your own blogs or websites! Very exciting, I know!

Dec 19, 2012

The Best and the Worst Interesting Facts of 2012

Based on pageviews:

The Least Viewed Interesting Fact of 2012: Checkups

Checkups are important for you and your doctor. During checkups, you take a step towards preventing any diseases or illnesses. You become a master of your own health. If the doctor is like Dr. Carm, then she likes checkups, too. She can get updated information on her patient (and interesting gossip). Doctors care about you—and I’m sure everyone cares about Dr. Carm!

What to expect at you annual exams

Don’t worry you usually don’t have to study, and you don’t usually have to worry about filling in those annoying tiny bubbles on the test sheet. [Dr. Carm hates exams.] Annual exams can include: checking vital signs (blood pressure, heart rate, respiratory system, and temperature), testicular exam, hernia exam, penis exam, prostate exam, breast exam, pelvic exam, CBC (complete blood test), chemistry panel, and urinalysis.

Your age, sex, and medical history determines which exams you need. In addition to the ones mentioned above, you should also be aware:

-If you are 50 years and older (sorry, can’t lie about your age here), you should go for colorectal cancer screenings. A fecal occult blood test (FOBT) should be performed 1 to 2 years for people 50-80 years old. Other testing such as a colonoscopy can be done every 5-10 years depending on health risks. For those who have a family history of colon cancer or other colon-related diseases (such as crohn’s disease), tests are usually done prior to age 50. Catching colon cancer early is essential for successful treatments.

-Annual mammograms should be done for women starting at the age of 40. Dr. Carm knows one place that suggests women start their annual mammogram testing at age 35.

-Cholesterol testing (lipids) should be done every 5 years after the age of 20.

*Blood tests can vary between individuals depending on their medications and health.

What should you do to prepare for your checkup?

Besides making the appointment [doctors usually hate it if you just stop by for a chat and say, “Oh, while I’m here, could I have my checkup?”], you can make a list of items to discuss or questions to ask. You know your body and should be aware of any changes. Well, Dr. Carm hopes you do. We don’t have any aliens inhabiting any bodies out there, do we??? Never mind, I don’t want to know….

What should you list?

Did anyone in your family (blood related) get diagnosed with a disease (for example, your sister is diagnosed with lung cancer or your father is now on cholesterol medication)?

Has something been bothering you? A pain? A cold that keeps coming back? Changes in diet or sleeping patterns?

Have you started taking any medication or supplements recently? (More than likely this should be over the counter medication/supplements. Dr. Carm does not approve illegal drugs. People are usually crazy enough without them.)

If something is bothering you, write down why (why does it bother you?), what (what kind of concern is it? Can you describe it?), when (when did it start? How long does it last?), where (where does it hurt? Do you get the symptoms in certain places?), and how (how have you been dealing with it?).

Last points

Remember you can’t undo a year’s worth of damage in a week! [Yes, those pesky diets to lose weight that didn't work because you didn't actually follow the diet counts.] Doctors (that aren’t even Dr. Carm) are usually smart enough to notice this, although they might not outwardly mention it. So, speak truthfully to your doctor. They can’t help you if you hide information or lie to them.

If you need a follow up appointment, schedule it and keep it. There’s a reason why your doctor needs this information. Let him/her help you!

Original posting can be found here

The Best Interesting Fact of 2012: Nails

Your nails tell you a lot about your health. Of course, Dr. Carm is talking about your real nails—not the painted or fake ones. Have you ever noticed when you were at the doctor's how he or she either commented on something (like a ring) or examined your hands? This is because he or she was looking for signs of any problems or illnesses.

So, go clean your nails and removed the artificial gunk off for this next posting.

When looking at these descriptions you want to look near the base of the nail for the coloring. A normal nail should be smooth and clear (meaning you can see the skin underneath the nail—so slightly pinkish.)

Beau's Line Nails

Beau's lines are indentations across the nails. It can be caused by injury or illness that interrupts the growth of the cuticle. It can also be a sign of uncontrolled diabetes, peripheral vascular disease, high fever, measles, mumps, pneumonia, or zinc deficiency.³

Blue Nails

Bluish nails are a sign that the body is not receiving enough oxygen, which is common in lung infections (pneumonia). In addition, some heart problems cause the fingernails to become blue.²

Club Nails

Club nails are enlarged fingertips with the nails curved around it. This may be a result of low oxygen and various types of lung disease. It is also associated with IBD (inflammatory bowel disease), cardiovascular disease, liver disease, and AIDS.³

Cracked or Split Nails

Dry, brittle nails that crack or split are often associated with thyroid disease. If the nails are also yellow, then this is a sign of a fungal infection.²

Dark Lines Beneath the Nail

Dark lines beneath the nail can be caused by melanoma and should be seen by a doctor immediately.²

Gnawed Nails

Nail biting is often a sign of an anxiety disorder and has also been linked to OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).²

Pale Nails

Pale nails can be a sign of anemia, congestive heart failure, liver disease, and malnutrition.²

Pitted Nails

A small depression in the nails is common in people who have psoriasis. It can also be related to connective tissue disorders (i.e., Reiter's syndrome), alopecia areata (an autoimmune disease), or inflammatory arthritis.^2,3

Puffy Nail Folds

If the skin around the nails is puffy and red, it may be due to lupus or another connective tissue disorder. Infections are also a cause.²

Separated Nails (onycholysis)

Nails that are loose or separated from the nail bed are sometimes associated with injury or infection. However, it can also be associated with a reaction to a particular drug or product (such as nail hardeners or adhesives). In addition, it can be a sign of thyroid disease or psoriasis.³

Spoon Nails (koilonychia)

These are soft nails that scoop out. The middle of the nail is dented enough to hold a drop of liquid. Spoon nails are a sign of iron deficiency anemia or hemochromatosis (a liver condition that makes your body absorb too much iron from food). It can also be a sign of heart disease and hypothyroidism.³

Terry's Nails

If the tip of each nail has a dark band, it can be due to aging; but more serious conditions can be liver disease, congestive heart failure, or diabetes.³

White Nails

White nails with darker rims are a sign of liver problems (hepatitis). In this case, you might also notice your fingers might also be jaundiced (yellow).²

Yellow Nails

Yellow can be a sign of a fungal infection. If the infection is not treated, it may grow worse causing the nail to become thick and then crumble. Other conditions that cause yellow nails include severe thyroid disease, lung disease, respiratory disease (chronic bronchitis), diabetes, lymph edema, or psoriasis.^2,3

Some Final Facts¹:

Fingernails grow an average of only 0.1 millimeter (mm) each day, whereas toenails grow 1 mm per month. Individual nail growth rates depend on age, time of year, activity level, and heredity.

Nails grow faster on fingers — especially on your dominant hand — than toes.

Women's nails grow more slowly than men's, except possibly during pregnancy.

Nails grow more rapidly in summer than in winter.

Nail growth is affected by disease, nutrition, medications, trauma, chronic illness, fever, and the aging process.

Original posting can be found here

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Dec 17, 2012

Remembering the Butt Cooties

Who could forget those dreaded butt cooties? Dr. Carm was lucky enough to get permission to post this from Diana Gabaldon. May 2013 be butt cootie free!

Dr. Carm would like to thank Diana Gabaldon for permitting her to post her writings on butt cooties. Diana Gabaldon…sounds familiar? Well, you’re right! She is the author of the Outlander series, Lord John Grey series, and some scholarly works. For more information about Diana Gabaldon click here

Anyway, I know you are all extremely concerned about understanding butt-cooties, so here it is:

A BRIEF DISQUISITION ON THE EXISTENCE OF BUTT-COOTIES

[Copyright 2010 Diana Gabaldon]

(Gentlemen, kindly avert your eyes)

Having lived to my present advanced age, I've spent a lot of time in public restrooms. And, having been a scientist in my previous professional incarnation, I can't help observing things, and drawing statistical inferences. Which is why I am in a position to inform you that roughly half the female population of the US suffer from the twin delusions that 1) butt-cooties exist, and 2) they will, given half a chance, leap several inches from a toilet seat and burrow into the skin of an unsuspecting buttock, resulting in scrofula, assorted STD's, herpes, and probably leprosy.

I draw these conclusions from the fact that roughly half the time I enter a public restroom cubicle, I observe that the previous user has peed on the seat. Ladies…

I can only guess that at some point in an impressionable youth, these women were told by some female authority figure that One Must Never SIT On A Public Toilet, "because you might catch something." Firmly indoctrinated with this policy, they do not sit on public toilets. They hover. Ladies, ladies…

Look. The skin of the buttocks is actually pretty germ-free, owing to the fact that we normally keep them covered and don't (usually) touch other people, animals, etc. with them. Your butt is much cleaner—microbially-speaking—than are your hands.

Various studies of the bacterial content of public restrooms indicate that there are a LOT more germs on the door of said restroom than there are on any toilet seat therein. You acquire millions more microbes by shaking hands with someone than you would if our social system involved mutual butt-rubbing. (To say nothing of the teeming worlds of microorganisms you acquire every time you accept change from the counter-guy at Burger King. How many of you race to the bathroom and scrub your hands after ordering the meal, but before eating it? )

In order actually to catch one of the communicable diseases with which excrement or other bodily fluids are associated, two things would have to occur: 1) the bodily fluid of an infected person would have to be applied to the toilet seat (which would not happen, if said person would sit her bottom on the potty where it belongs and not spray the thing like a hippopotamus), and 2) an uninfected person's mucous membranes must come in contact with said fluids, within the few seconds that most bacteria and virii can survive outside the human body. You don’t have mucous membranes on your buttocks.

Now, by and large, urine really doesn't contain all that many bacteria (Male urine contains almost none, owing to the fact that its exit is, um, less impeded by surrounding tissue. A good many alchemical and medical recipes up through the early 19th century require "urine of a newborn male child" as an ingredient—this being the most sterile water available). Feces…well, yes. And I have in fact encountered the Really Nasty evidence that there are not only seat-pee-ers, but also seat-poopers (to say nothing of the occasional person who is so afraid of physically encountering a public toilet that they actually don't hit it at all, and leave the evidence of their mental derangement on the floor of the facility), but this is fortunately rare.

All right. In periods of heavy traffic, one might possibly encounter a live bacterium or virus present in the urine that some inconsiderate idiot has left on a toilet seat. Not likely, but faintly possible. Are you going to encounter it with your mucous membranes? Not unless your excretory habits are both Highly Athletic and Dang Unusual.

OK. So if the risk of catching a bacterial or viral disease by sitting on a dry toilet seat is negligible, then plainly, the Thing to Fear must be…Butt-cooties!

Traveling as much as I do, I am in a position to collect international data, albeit in an anecdotal and unstandardized manner. On the basis of such casual observation, though, I hypothesize that while butt-cooties presently have a fairly wide global distribution, they probably originated in the United States. Speaking generally, at least fifty percent of all public toilets in US airports, convenience stores, museums, and restaurants indicate evidence of infestation (judging from the aversive techniques employed by the patrons). European toilets have a much lower incidence—perhaps 10-15%.

(Point of etiquette: ought one to meet the eyes of, and/or nod to, a person emerging from a toilet cubicle that one proposes to enter? Common politeness would argue for such cordial acknowledgement—but if the next few seconds reveal that the departing patron was possessed of butt-cooties, this might lead one to think harsh and unchristian thoughts of said person, and surely it's worse to think unchristian thoughts (WWJD? I'm pretty sure He wouldn't pee on a public toilet seat, and if He did, He would certainly wipe it off. Ditto the Buddha, and doubtless any other religious figure you care to name) about someone whose face is imprinted in your short-term memory, than of an unknown quantity.)

In fact, we might hypothesize the geographical origin of butt-cooties as having occurred in or near Chicago. On what basis? Well, of all the airports I've been in (and I've been in a lot of airports, from New Zealand to Saskatchewan), only O'Hare International has public toilets equipped with a sliding cylinder of plastic sheeting that encases the seats; you wave your hand in front of a magic button, and voila! The plastic slides round the seat, and you are presented with a pristine surface on which to park your booty. Such is the prevailing fear of butt-cooties, though, that people pee on these toilet seats, too.

Well, there's no arguing with psychological aberration, and thus I make no attempt to persuade Those Who See Butt-Cooties away from their convictions. I would, though, urge them—in the most kindly manner—to address the results of their antisocial psychosis, and thus leave them with this classic advice:

"If you sprinkle when you tinkle—

Please be neat, and wipe the seat."

To see the original posting by Diana Gabaldon, please click here

For more information on her books, click here

This has been posted with permission by the author.

Original posting on Dr. Carm's blog can be found here

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Dec 15, 2012

The Best Fan Art of 2012

Dr. Carm received her first fan art drawings this year! Who can forget those dreaded Butt Cooties???

Sam was inspired by Beware the Butt Cooties posting (found here), so she made some butt cooties. See below:

Butt Cooties love you!

Boy Butt Cootie

Girl Butt Cootie

The reproduction of Butt Cooties

Colored Butt Cooties

Original posting can be found here

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Dec 10, 2012

Most Used Operating System for Dr. Carm's Blog

The top 5 operating systems are:

1. Windows [by Microsoft]

2. Linux

3. Android [by Google]

4. MacIntosh [by Apple Inc]

5. iPhone [by Apple Inc]

Don't forget to like Dr. Carm on Facebook. You can view updates, funny sayings, and cartoons!

Dec 1, 2012

Most Commented on Posting of 2012

Based on the number of comments:

The Most Commented on Posting of 2012: Patient #3 - Lyra

Lyra came to Dr. Carm for help not too long ago....

After a few appointments and tests, it has been concluded that she has Folivora Ananas Comosus Disease (FACD).

Folivora Ananas Comosus Disease (FACD)

FACD has six symptoms and can be diagnosed through observations or blood tests. FACD symptoms include:

1. Divert sleeping patterns. FACD sufferers find that they lack energy and must sleep longer than most of their human counterparts. It was first determined that FACD sufferers are somnolent and should sleep 15 to 18 hours each day. However, Dr. Neil Rattenborg discovered that only 10 hours a day is sufficient for FACD sufferers to function. This does not mean that they do not like to sleep 15-18 hours. Unfortunately, real life calls them back to the world of wakefulness.

2. Because their sleep patterns are different than the average human, FACD sufferers exhibit slow movements and poor muscle control. This causes them to move like a Muppet.

In order to gain control of their movements and wakeful state, FACD sufferers try to engage in physical activities such as aerobics. This can cause the person to become even more tired, even though they are pleasantly pleased with their performance.

3. People who have FACD might find themselves in need of constant hydration. This symptom is partly unexplained by the medical world. Interestingly enough, some doctors have concluded that this helps keep them in a semi-wakeful state. By hydrating often, they must relieve themselves several times throughout the day. This allows them to remain conscious [at least in theory].

4. Another symptom is obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). For Lyra, one obsessive behavior is nail polish. She has a high need to collect and paint. She will forgo long-term benefits for the immediate relief of nail polishing pleasure. This disorder is considered at least moderate to severe among FACD sufferers.

5. FACD sufferers have unusual eating habits. Although they prefer vegetables to meat, they conflict their healthy habits with an abundance of bake goods. They tend to make the bake goods themselves (share a portion of the desserts with others to avoid any guilty emotions) and then consume the rest hidden away in their habitat.

6. Finally, because they have unusual eating habits, FACD sufferers have been known to self-poison. For instance, Lyra will continue to eat fresh pineapples despite the slight allergic reaction to the bromelain.

FACD is a heredity disorder that can skip every few generations randomly. It is possible that parents and their children have the condition, but it is not necessary.
A permanent cure is not yet available [testing is still being done on humans], but there are ways to help relieve the symptoms of FACD.

Sleep is one way to make people with FACD happy. A note should be obtained from their physician so that they can nap at work. Because sleep is important to those with FACD, the occupation should also allow other coworkers nap time as well. This provides a nice quiet environment to sleep.

For those that suffer from extreme Muppet-like movements, a straightjacket or other restrictive sleeves should be used. This prevents an indirect harm to themselves or others.

Finally, support groups and interventions should be used to prevent self-poisoning. In extreme conditions, commitment in a psych ward might necessary.

*The Muppets were created by Jim Henson and is legally contracted with the Walt Disney Company.

Original posting can be found here

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Nov 28, 2012

The Best and the Worst Short Stories of 2012

Based on pageviews:

The Least Viewed Quick Story of 2012: Two Little Kids

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-o and ice cream.. It's a breeze"

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

The second kid replies, "Whoa! Good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."